How to say you want something serious
How to tell a match you want a long-term relationship, kindly and early, without scaring the right person off.
Read the guideSerious dating
Dating for people who want something serious
Say what you want from the start and meet people who want the same thing: a real, long-term relationship.
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Cities
Where our members are
LondonTake a short course together at City Lit, then talk it over at dinner.EdinburghGive a few hours a week to a local cause, then walk and talk after.BristolBook a termly evening class at Bristol Folk House and stay for coffee in the café.New York CityGo to a talk or concert at 92NY, then walk up Lexington for a late supper.Washington, DCTake a Smithsonian art class on the National Mall, then dinner nearby.SeattleJoin a volunteer-led hike with The Mountaineers and see how you work as a team.
Guides
Guides people read first
Ideas our editors checked this month, with the source for each.
When and how to talk about being exclusive
How to know when to have the exclusive talk, what to say, and how to tell real commitment from someone rushing you.
Read the guide
Are we ready to move in together?
Questions to ask before you move in together, from money and space to what the law says about unmarried couples.
Read the guideOut and about
Where singles meet here
- Evening classes that run for a full termA course that meets every week means you see the same people again and again, which is how real connections build. Adult education centres like City Lit run evening and weekend courses over several weeks.
- Volunteering with a regular shiftA weekly volunteering role puts you alongside people who care about the same things. Local volunteer centres, such as Volunteer Edinburgh, help you search for roles near you.
- Outdoor clubs with volunteer-led tripsHiking and outdoor clubs give you a full day together and a shared goal. The Mountaineers in the Pacific Northwest runs hundreds of volunteer-led activities and courses each month.
What’s on
Coming up
- Autumn: A new term, a new routineAutumn is when many adult education centres, such as Bristol Folk House, start a new term. Settling into a weekly class is a good way to meet someone before the holidays.
- October: World Romance Scam Prevention DayEach October, City of London Police and partners mark World Romance Scam Prevention Day. It is a good reminder to verify the person, not just the profile, and never send money to someone you have not met.
- Spring and summer: Longer days for day trips and hikesMore light means more time for whole-day dates. Outdoor clubs such as the Colorado Mountain Club publish spring and summer course programmes, from hiking to navigation.
Members
Members you might like to meet
Members choose to appear here. Join to see everyone.
VerifiedGemma, 33London
VerifiedRich, 37Edinburgh
Photo checkedMichelle, 41Bristol
VerifiedNeil, 40New York City
Example profiles shown in this preview. Real members appear here only if they switch on public listing.
Who it’s for
Made for both of you
For women
Meet men who say what they want
- Profiles built around long-term intentions, so you know where you stand
- Every photo checked by a person before it goes live
- Look for the Verified badge on members who passed an ID check
- Take your time: no pressure to meet before you are ready
For men
Meet women who are ready for something real
- Women here are looking for a partner, not a pen pal
- Real profiles, with every photo checked by a person
- A Verified badge shows who has passed an ID check
- Free to join and browse, so you can see who is here first
Verification
How we keep Someone Serious real
Every member’s photo is checked by a person before anyone sees it.
Verified1A person checks every photo
Before any profile goes live, a member of our team looks at the photos. Anything that looks borrowed, edited or fake doesn’t get through.
2A selfie check
We ask for a quick selfie to make sure the person in the photos is the person on the profile.
3An ID check for the Verified badge
Members can check their ID with Yoti in about a minute. Yoti checks the document and tells us it matched. We never see or keep the document.
4Reports read by people
Report a profile and someone on our team reviews it. Fake profiles are removed.
Before you join
Questions people ask
In shortSomeone Serious is a dating site for single adults in the UK and US who want a committed, long-term relationship rather than something casual. Every photo is checked by a person, and members who pass an optional ID check get a Verified badge. Joining and browsing are free.
Is it free?
Joining, making a profile and browsing are free. You need a membership to read and reply to messages, and you see the options before you pay.
How do I know people are real?
Every photo is checked by a person. Members who pass an ID check carry a Verified badge, so you can see who has been checked.
How do I find someone who wants a serious relationship?
Say clearly what you want on your profile, look for people who say the same, and ask early. Meeting in places with regular routines, like classes and clubs, helps too.
Is it okay to say I want marriage on my profile?
Yes. Saying you want a long-term partner or would like to marry one day helps the right people find you. Keep it warm, not a list of demands.